When I choose happiness- it is a direct result of me choosing to manage those things that try to distract me from it. Growth comes when we can get curious and introspective as to what is making us tick. When someone or something gets your emotions to rise quickly it is usually not because of that person or event. With introspection we can often identify the related nerve that is being pressed. With self critique or overt criticism we can quickly choose anger, anxiety, fear or sadness as our default emotion. When I choose to understand who I am and how I think, I choose to have permission to be perfectly imperfect while I grow to be the best me. When I am learning, when I am being responsible for me and my emotions, I can choose happiness even when things external from me may appear not to be happy. Happy is a response to self care and self awareness not from external events.
Wow, this really is so true, sometimes not so easy to accomplish but I’m working at this everyday.
I think about how making a decision to be happy is entwined in my life’s mantra.
Four things in my mantra and which I am very much looking within myself everyday are:
1. “Be honest in all you do”
If I am really honest with myself I will acknowledge that I truly want to choose happiness; being honest takes a lot of curiosity and searching deep within.
2. “Don’t ever assume”
By not assuming what others are thinking, I focus on myself and what ‘my’ choices in life should be, and that should be choosing to be happy. It is so easy to assume, takes thought and self-focus and a lot of learning about myself.
3. “Don’t take anything personal”
If I do not take anything personal I can let go of any negativity brought on by others, another way to choose happiness. This one is really difficult, I think we all take things personal, but we need to let go of that to be able to be happy; if I look into myself and can be happy with me, Ihave accomplished a lot. I think this is a daily self evaluation, and something I need to do everyday.
4. “Do your best”
By doing my very best, I’ll be focusing on what’s best for me, and again, that goes back to choosing to be happy. And I need to remember that the word BEST does not mean PERFECT; if I can accept myself as imperfect then I will be doing my best!
Sounds easy when I put this in writing, but it is a challenge to do this! But I’m not perfect so if I mess up, I’ll learn from it and move on.
One day at a time
Thank you so much for your heartfelt thoughts and honesty. One of the thoughts that you shared jumped out to me and that it “is hard not to take things so personal.” I agree with you, everything is taken in personally. That is not a bad thing. With growing curiosity our responses to these personal events become clearer. Sometimes they hit old hot buttons and it triggers a strong sensitive response, sometimes it creates a very warm response and the list goes on. Personal awareness about events is primary, not necessarily to eliminate them. I don’t even think that we can stop taking things personally. Maybe the “personally part” is more synonymous with our more painful responses and our belief that we shouldn’t have that….maybe 🙂 In any case I appreciate all of your feedback!!! It always makes me feel good when others can relate.